The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

The original Universal monsters are some of my favorite movies in the world. "Dracula," "Frankenstein," "The Wolfman," "Creature from the Black Lagoon," "The Invisible Man" and "The Mummy." I have loved them for a long time, and are actually a large part of why I love film so much. I also love the remake of "The Mummy." Now, it may not be great looking back, but it was damn fun and when it came out it was the perfect blend of those old movies I loved and new big budget action movies and I ate it up. When I got it on VHS, I watched it no less than once a week for a very long time. I thought "The Mummy Returns" was pretty good until the scorpion king showed up (because of bad CGI). However, the commercials for this movie never did much for me (except when Fraser said, "Yea, same mummy. TWICE!" Brenden Fraser rocks). So, did this live up to my love of the first one?

Not even fucking close. I don't often like to refer to movies in simplistic terms or phrases, but this movie was retarded. Sorry if you are offended, but it is the only way to describe this movie. Almost every line in this movie is stupid and contrived, as if adding the word "mummy" to a sentence makes it funny. That or awkward sexual innuendo thrown between father and son, uncle and nephew, mother and son, and man and yak. Truthfully, you remember that charming comedy that was in the first one and lesser so in the 2nd? It is gone. Except for one scene at the beginning, which I will get to later. Even the way the movie unfolds is stupid.

The opening prologue, which takes forever by the way, is pretty much the exact same as the first "Mummy" except for the fact that we learn that Jet Li can control the elements (personal thought: when did wood become an element?) and he is the one that becomes the mummy. Then we see present day which is about 8 to 10 years from the second movie. Rick and Evie have it made because Evie has written books about their past experiences (which is actually supposed to be what we saw in the last two movies, because the Evie in the books are a "different person.") They are rich and seem to get interrupted anytime they try to get it on. Rick however, is not content with this lifestyle, always being the adventurer. Their son Alex has taken a cue from his parents and has gone excavating, but this time in China. Then, for some reason, Rick and Evie are sent to China to give somebody a stone, where they run into Alex. They get angry because they didn't know he had dropped out. Jonathan runs the night club the all meet in. They go to see Alex's latest dig. For some reason, a group wants to bring the emperor back to life... so they do with the stone the O'Connells brought (they had to bring it for some reason... I have no idea why). So now the O'Connells have to team up with two women who have eternal life and go to stop the Emperor. To stop him, they must have Yetis help them... and fuck this I stopped carrying once the yetis showed up (truly, the high point of the movie for me though. Simply for the fact that there were fucking YETIS in a mummy movie. With such lines as "Don't worry, the Yetis will help us." Awesome.) 

This movie movies from one convoluted set-piece to another. It also seems extremely bland as if we've seen most of these things in the other movies. Such as a giant fight in the sand between two ancient forces ("The Mummy Returns"), the street chase ("The Mummy"), and the initial finding of the tomb with the fight versus an ancient order to make sure the evil doesn't return ("The Mummy"). Truly, there are only 2 original set pieces in the movie and they both make no sense, but at the same time they are my favorite parts just because how laughably bad their placement in the film is: the Yeti's and Jet Li turning into a 3-headed dragon. None of it makes much sense, but it is damn hilarious and entertaining in a very cheesy way.

Another complaint about this movie is that it is just too long. Yes, this movie by quickly, but there was a moment in the movie where it literally hit me and I said "Damn... this movie is too long." This is should be about an hour and a half. Truthfully, they could have easily written out much of the beginning, because it takes forever for Jet Li to become the mummy. However, the other movies were about this long, so why does this drag?

Because none of the characters click at all. Not one of them. One of the most fun things about the first two is seeing the cast all bounce off each other with the great chemistry they had. However, they've re-cast two of the four O'Connells and the rest of the cast is just trying to get a hang of the English language. I think the thing that killed a lot of the chemistry is just how inconsistent these characters are with their counterparts in the first two. Alex is now a man, rather than a boy from "The Mummy Returns" but the thing is that somehow he has magically shifted his british accent (which made sense since they lived in England) to a brooklyn accent. I mean, that is just sloppy casting. I guess it can be explained by the fact that we were seeing the "fictionalized cheap" versions that Evie wrote in her books, but damn, this is the movie that seems like the cheap and fictionalized version. Speaking of Maria Bello, I have a notice to her: Do NOT ever do another British accent. It was terrible and the entire time you are spent with a strange goofy look on your face. Well, I will give you that if these films are supposed to be call backs to 1930 B-Films, then you nailed the acting. Perfectly.

Now, the one saving grace of this movie could be Brenden Fraser as Rick O'Connell. I'm sorry, but I'm in the "Brenden Fraser kicks ass!" club. His performance is the one consistent thing from the first two. However, he seems to be a bit run down in this film, but that is the character in this one. He also has the best scene in the film all to himself in the opening moments when his character is trying to fish and he gets frustrated and starts to use a gun. Perfect O'Connell moment. He can't escape the crappy script of this at times though as you can tell he just doesn't click with anybody but John Hannah who does the best with what he can here, but he is given the worst "comedic" lines in the entire thing. 

This movie could have been so much better and I would have LOVED to see this film take off into the direction it was originally intended for (O'Connell versus a different Universal monster in each movie). This is a big disappointment as it never delivers on the fun that the first two had, except for the moments where it delved into the "so bad its good" category. In fact, the only reason this might not have come out on DVD this week is the fact that "Lost Boys: The Tribe" hit shelves this week and that HAS to be better than this.

The Dark Knight

A year ago was when we first Heath was cast. Then we saw his face and heard his voice. Then we saw him move. All the while this film has been gaining speed as being one of the most expected movies of the year. Now, this movie has been so hyped up, how could it ever live up to the hype? How could a super hero movie with characters we've seen before be as great as it looks?

Rather easily it seems. Nolan and his team have crafted, not just the best superhero movie of all time, but also a masterfully crafted crime film filled with human pathos. Don't be fooled, this is not your typical superhero movie. Hell, this isn't your typical movie. This is Nolan crafting the single best Batman story ever told. Yes, better than "The Killing Joke," "Year One," and "The Dark Knight Returns." This is the ultimate Batman film. The ultimate Batman story. 

Jonathan and Christopher Nolan have created a masterful script where every character is presented with an lesser of two evils question at least once in the film. None of them make stupid or bad decisions either, which you do see in even the best of superhero movies. Nope, all of the characters take time and weigh their actions and make a decision that way. All except for one character that is. Another interesting thing I loved about this film is that the Nolan's have been known to mess around with how they tell their stories. Now, they don't tell it out of sequence here as they have in the past. However, there is a point in the movie that they decide not to fully explain everything. It is slightly disorienting as you feel as if you have missed something important. The thing is, every character is in this state in the film at this point and the Nolan's have just shoved you into his "world without rules" and you are at the exact same state the characters in the movie are. That is brilliance. 

Christopher Nolan has also improved as a director since "Batman Begins." A complaint I still have about that film is that hand-held was used too much. Here, Nolan is steady and knows exactly what he wants. His action scenes are extremely well crafted and the tension and danger in all of them are high. In fact, from the opening moments of the film, you know that you are in for a dangerous film. There is not a moment in this movie that isn't taught and full of suspense. You never know what is coming next, mainly because the main pulling the strings doesn't either.

That man is of course the JOKER. He is demented, sick, twisted, brilliant and just plain crazy. The worst part of all of it though is that he KNOWS he is. In fact, he embraces his insanity. There is the main difference between he and Batman and he knows how to expose it. The Joker in this movie just does what he wants. He has no reason, no point other than to "introduce a little anarchy." Strangely though, in the final scene you feel sad for him. Not very sad, but empathic. He thinks he can turn anybody to him, but when he realizes he is alone... There is a definite look of defeat on his face. Note have I haven't said that Heath Ledger puts this in the character, because Heath is gone here. 

In fact, every actor disappears in their roles here. Also, everyone gets at least their 15 minutes in this movie. None more so than Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent. He is the center of the movie. The lynch pin. The man everyone is after and the man who is after everything. He wants justice and will do anything to get to it. Bruce sees this in him, but mostly, Bruce sees Dent as his way out. His way to his old life. Dent, however, sees Batman as a symbol the city needs. Dent's decent into madness is extremely sad and depressing with an incredible and shocking pay off. In fact, the best moments in this moment aren't the giant action scenes, but the pathos driven smaller scenes. The climax of the movie is so powerfully tense and it involves 5 people. 

God damn it, quit reading what I'm saying about this movie and just go out and see it. NOW! Everyone is incredible and I could just go on and on about this film. What's the point though? Just go experience the first truly Oscar worthy film this year (other than In Bruges for best original screenplay). I'm not just saying that as a fan boy of Batman either, I'm saying that as a film fan. If this doesn't get Best Adapted Screenplay and Supporting Actor (for Leger definitely, and maybe even Oldman or Eckhart) Nominations, it'll be a downright shame. This is going to be a classic, so see it for yourself.

NEW FEATURE SCRIPT

Okay, so the last time I posted about a Feature Script, after I looked at that script, it was pretty bad. There were good moments in it, but it was just rushed and not that good. It was good though to write a total 180 from "Joe Britz." 

However, this new script is somewhere in between that and "Joe Britz." It has the action that "Eulogy" had, but it has the comedy that "Joe Britz" did. Except, instead of a bunch of pop culture references, this movie is full of a bunch of character comedy. I definately think that if enjoyed "Joe Britz" especially when he was paranoid or the "Jesus Rant" you will enjoy this movie.

The basic plot is that two guys have lived through the apocalypse and after they abandoned the place they are staying at, they have to make it to a certain destination. Along the way they run into cannibals, old friends, mutants and one totally awesome cameo. I'm not going to give this character because it is awesome! But let me tell you that we ARE going to try to get this filmed, but it might not happen. I also have to mention that it is 134 pages long which will translate into a rough cut of 2 hours and 14 minutes. We will be cutting it down though, to probably around 1 hour and 45 minutes to 2 hours. 

Heath is being played by Jordan Gutirrez 

Rick is being played by Cole Souza

The first page is to the right.

Iron Man

I have been following this movie for several years mainly because I love "Iron Man." He is my favorite Marvel superhero and think he is one of the more interesting characters based on his choices and his personal life style. I wasn't sure about Favreau directing because of his track record of child comedies, but listening to his passion for the project I was sold. Then he gave us the fantastic casting of Robert Downey Jr. and I knew he was going in the right direction with this. Then the trailer hit and I had no worries.

Iron Man is the story of Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.), the head of Stark Industries. He is brilliant, but on top of that he is also cocky and a playboy. He has no care in the world and doesn't take anything seriously. While he is doing a sales pitch of his new Jericho missiles, he is kidnapped and many people die in the wake of this. The terrorist group calling themselves the 10 Rings want him to build them another Jericho missile, but Stark builds a suit to escape and decides that he isn't going to stand for making weapons anymore. When Stark gets back, he makes the announcement about his company taking a new direction and quickly Stark begins to unravel a plot that he must stop with his new invention.

This movie is pretty damn badass. I mean, what movie that begins with "Back in Black" and ends in "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath isn't? However, it isn't the work of the music that makes this awesome the blame for it is largely Favreau and Downey Jr.

Robert Downey Jr. has always been an incredibly good actor who has been waiting in the wings to become a house hold name and now he has found it. Downey is absolutely pitch perfect as Tony Stark. He is smarmy, cocky, confident and hilarious. It probably doesn't hurt that Downey and Stark have led somewhat similar lives (especially in the comic books). Even though Downey plays the cocky really well, seeing him transform from playboy who doesn't give a shit to hero is great and probably the best portrayal of a superhero other than Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne to date. It is really a tour de force and Downey's best performance other than Chaplain. 

However, Downey would never even have been there if it wasn't for Favreau. He proved to me that he isn't only a man of comedy. Just as Nolan with Batman, Raimi with Spiderman and Singer with X-Men before him, Favreau was able to take the great things about the superhero and bring it to the screen. Everything you love about the Iron Man comics are there. The thing that I feel Favreau did better than the others have done is set up for a series without a blatant cliffhanger. So much is there that they can develop into a series. Not only that, but they can not introduce any new characters and just have villians that appear as just characters in this film. It would feel like a regular character arc and more of an extension of the first film. Not only that, but he also has definite hints to where Stark's character is going to go in the future (he does love his scotch). Favreau also does the smart thing that a lot of comic book movies don't: he doesn't turn the creation of the suit into a montage. He spends a lot of time on this, making the movie more believable. In fact, a large portion of the actual plot revolves around the suit.

One of the more exciting things abut this movie is where it is going to go. This is definitely a great beginning to the summer movie season. I have a feeling it is also going to result in some of the best sequels and in turn, one of the best series of movies. 

P.S. WAIT UNTIL AFTER THE CREDITS!

Top 5 Summer Films

Okay, so I haven't actually reviewed a movie in a really long time. Frankly, it is because I have not felt extremely compelled to throw in my views on some movies that people seem to have the same opinion about. Summer movies though, you can't miss those. The best movies I've seen that have come out this year so far  that I haven't reviewed are:

In Bruges (4/5)

Leatherheads (4/5) - I love slapstick film and there is one scene that is so beautifully shot that I want to just hang it up on my wall.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (4/5) - About on par with 40 Year Old Virgin in terms of laughter, but I feel it is an all around better script.

Now to the real list, the top 5 big  budget action/comedy films I want to see that are coming out later this year are.

5) Wall - E

I love Pixar with a passion. They tell stories that they want to. Never do they half-ass a movie just to make a buck, they aren't Dreamworks Animation. This movie seems to be the next great project. I mean, they have had a brilliant marketing campaign and I'm already in love with that goofy little robot who reminds me of Number 5 from Short Circuit. This is the story of a robot who finds his place in the world. The interesting part about it is that it is told with extremely limited dialog. This is going to prove exactly how good Pixar is if they can tell a compelling story without a main character that speaks, and I think they can. It also looks so beautiful.

4) Pineapple Express

Judd Apatow is awesome and so will this movie be. I actually have the script for it, and let me tell you it is a good one (however, many lines have changed I've seen from the trailer, but they've changed for the better. Script review will be up shortly). It is the story of Dale (Seth Rogen). He just wants pot, and he scores the best in town from his dealer Saul (James Franco). However, he witnesses a murder and all shit hits the fan. Saul and Dale have to hit the road and avoid being killed. I've watched this trailer about one time a day since it hit the internet and every time I see another thing. This is going to be hilarious. I love the part where Saul tells Dale how they can catch them. 

3) Iron Man

Iron Man has always been one of my favorite superheroes. I used to rent a 60's cartoon where Iron Man fought War Machine. Now this movie just looks badass. Everybody looks incredibly perfectly  cast. Especially Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark. They pretty much share the same life, especially with Stark's later alcoholism. Downey seems to have taken on this role as a man who is forced into being a super hero after becoming a prisoner of war. I was fairly skeptical on what Favreu would do with it because he had never done anything like this, but it looks like he has nailed it. It also kicks off this year's summer movies. Seriously, this just looks awesome and a good start for Marvel Productions.

2) Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Who doesn't love Indiana Jones? Nobody? Right, that is what I thought. I grew up watching them and I love all of the movies. The only problem that people could forsee with this movie is the time between the last one and this one. However, I feel that it is a good sign because they could have just chruned one out after the last movie and nobody would have batted an eye. They have waited their time to find the perfect script and the trailer, which I love, shows this. They know what fans know and what fans want to see in a new movie and it seems as if this is a happy balance between Raiders and Temple of Doom. I don't know much about the plot, as nobody really does, except for the fact Indiana is searching for some crystal skulls... sounds good to me.

1) The Dark Knight

Batman is my favorite superhero and I love what Nolan did with the last movie. My only complaint was how long it took to actually get Bale in that damn suit. However, it looks like Nolan has decided to make the Batman movie that every fan has wanted to see: a noir film with awesome action. I know that this isn't a noir film, but it comes off as much more a mystery to solve, just like the comics. In fact, it seems as if it is one of the comics that everybody loves. We don't have to waste time with origin or anything with this, just kick off with the action and the new struggles in Bruce Wayne's life. However, this movie could easily be below Indy 4 if it wasn't for one man: Heath Ledger. He was a good actor who was seemingly reaching his peak, which it looked like is this: the Joker. The ultimate comic book villian. Ledger looks unbelievably frightening and down right perfect for the role. No, it isn't exactly like the comics but it is the spirit of the character that is there and Ledger seems to have captured to what maybe a post-mortum Oscar nomination (those who have seen parts of this film say it is one of the best villians of all time. Michael Caine was even talking about it before Ledger died). This looks down right incredible and I can't wait. Not much is known about the plot other than Wayne must take down the Joker.

So there is my list, not very shocking, but enjoy.

New Feature Script

I was going to 

keep this script underwraps until I was finished, but I'm so far along and wanted to justify my not writing of reviews in the past couple of months.

I have been working on this a lot. It will be a few weeks until it is actually done. 

It probably won't get filmed for a while either, but it has been great writing it and it is very different from The Death of Joe Britz. 

On either side  is the title page and the first page.

For anybody who read the short Fabrication the answer is "Yes, it is a feature length version of it." It is in fact the story of Stone. Fabrication is a section of it. Some things are slightly changed and the information is filled in, but it is all there, but it is only a portion of the story.

RAMBO!!!

The 80's were a time when action movies reigned. Men were men and the bullets ripped you apart. We've been missing that from action movies from the last several years where all action movies now have to have a digital twist to it. We saw this happen with Live Free or Die Hard. A once awesome character was turned into a PG-13. Stallone noticed this, and promised a super violent film with his iconic character Rambo. After the failure of Rambo III, could Sly bring it back?

Hell yes he can. This film goes BOOM! If that doesn't sound good to you, avoid this movie.

The film opens with real footage of the Burmese Genocide where the film takes place. These are horrible horrible people whose one of their favorite pass times is laying down mines and sending their victims to step on them. Then we have Rambo. He has been living by himself for many years and has never returned home. He knows what he did at one point was wrong. Then, these Christian missionaries get captured. Rambo has a fondness for one of the missionaries. So he plus a group of mercenaries go in to fuck up the evil Burmese.

This is an 80's action movie by every sense of the word. The action in this is big, giant and sometimes goofy but god damn is it a good time. The last 20 to 30 minutes of this film is just drenched with blood except for the few moments where the  screen is filmed with fire from explosions and flame throwers. Every action of moment grabs you by the balls and goes "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO DO!? HUH?!" 

This is the definition of the fun action movie. The bad guys are incredibly evil and the good guys just don't give a shit. Nobody except the missionaries are very good people. Stallone doesn't give a shit as Rambo except when talking with Sarah. The acting, all around is okay, nothing really outstanding but that is not why you are buying a ticket, you paying a ticket to see Rambo rip a guys throat out.

If that doesn't sound like a good time to you, then avoid this movie but if you love blood and guts and people getting blown to little pieces: this is the movie for you.