Pirates of the Carribean: At Worlds End (Spoilers)

I love Pirates. I really do. Used to have pirate chat rooms and used to play puzzle pirates. Swashbuckling is just such a fun idea to think about. Disney thought so too and made the great "Pirates of the Carribean." I loved that too. In fact, saw it 3 times in theaters. When they greenlit 2 sequels, I was excited. Especially when it was unvieled that Bill Nighy would be the main villian. Bill Nighy as a pirate? AWESOME. Bill Nighy as the lord of the sea? AWESOME. Well, in theory it could have been awesome. Instead it was just a boring movie that made me really want to get out of the theater within the first hour. Never did I think this would happen again and was waiting for the sequel to see if, hopefully, things got better. Sadly... they didn't. In fact, they got worse.

This movie was just terrible. In fact, while the 2nd movie made me want leave an hour into it, this one made me want to leave 10 minutes into the damn thing.

The plot? There really is no plot to this movie. It goes from one tangent to another tangent never really concluding anything in the movie. Plot holes right and left. Very few things explained, or if they are explained, they are explained badly. It is very clear that they began shooting this without a completed script. The writers seem to not care about making a coherent movie, but a movie that blows people away with special effects.

Speaking of special effects, for a movie with such a large budget, a lot of these effects are laughable. It isn't that they are pulled off badly, it is just that the stunt they are trying to do is down right retarded. The world literally flips. We see the water go from one side to the other? It looked like something out of a shitty cartoon. In fact, there is one effect that had me howling in laughter. In fact, I don't care if you know it. Throughout the movie they are talking about releasing Calypso, this giant sea goddess, who was once the lover of Davy Jones. Ends up to be that crazy ass lady that gave Captain Jack Sparrow the jar of dirt (speaking of that... what the fuck happened to it? It is just totally gone, no point to the plot). Well, during her big unviel, where she becomes a sea goddess, what could have saved this movie from being incredibly shitty, they take the easy/hilarious way out. She just grows, Until she is as tall as the ship... then she turns into a bunch of crabs... Why? I don't know, but for some reason she has crabs.

There are so many plot holes right and left in this damn movie . They build something up and then it just changes right away. All of a sudden they find the Kracken dead. How did it die? Why did Davey Jones let it die? Who knows. It just is. Elizabeth and Will are fighting throughout the entire movie. In fact, up until they get married. They are still fighting and all of a sudden Will goes "marry me." and they get married... in the middle of an action scene. It was the most retarded thing I've ever seen... other than giant crab lady.

It is also extremely sad when one of the strengths of the original movie has become one of the weaknesses: the acting. In fact, everybody is a step down, but the real disappointment is Johnny Depp. I think Johnny Depp is a great actor, and one of the best (if not THE best) of his generation but in this he is terrible. The first time he stepped into the boots of Captain Jack Sparrow he was hilarious, charming, and selfcentered, but all his comedy was drawn from the fact that he only cared about himself. This one makes him act like a chicken and mug for the camera constantly. It seems that he feels if he just says a line it will be funny. It isn't. In fact, there are hundreds of Johnny's in this movie and none, let me repeat none of them are funny. In fact, there is one scene where he has one Johnny on one shoulder and another Johnny on his other shoulder and it is like the little angel and devil on the shoulder thing and it is NOT FUNNY! The only person who did remotely well in this movie is Keith Richards and he was on screen for all of... 2 minutes? If that. I'm sorry Johnny, I have loved all your work until these last 2 movies.

One more note: Why do all of these sequels have a musical number? Spider-Man 3 had dancing Spider-man (which I actually really enjoyed), Fantastic Four had dancing Mr. Fantastic (which was... not that good), and the opening singing of in this movie, which was the perfect opprotunity to throw in the classic song but for some reason they conjured up a new song.

In summation: avoid this movie at all costs. I don't even want to keep thinking about this anymore.