GRINDHOUSE: The Fake Trailers

Okay, for a true Grindhouse experience, Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Taratino through in 4 fake trailers (one of which is actually being made into a movie). They were all great and spectacular. I'm going to review them in order from least favorite to favorite with their taglines.

DON'T:
This was a hialrious send up of ads for movies that tell nothing about the plot but have some crazy ass marketing scheme. The entire trailers goes "If you are thinking about (insert something) DON'T!" It is done by Edgar Wright of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz fame. It is very funny, but we don't really get any funny shots of the actual movie except for one, and I don't want to spoil it for you. What we mostly get though are moody shots that take me back to the Hammer horror films of the 60's and 70's. It is good, but I wouldn't want to see a movie of it.
Tagline: "If You Are Thinking About Seeing This Movie Alone... DON'T!"

THANKSGIVING:
So we have slashers of Halloween, Christmas and even St. Patricks Day (if you include Leprachaun). So Eli Roth (director of HOSTEL) decided to show his own take on the genre of holiday slashers: THANKSGIVINGS. This trailer had everything from boobs to one of the most painful deaths in the entire movie. At the same time it is very funny. I would definately love to see a feature of this, as long as Roth didn't fuck up a good idea like he did with HOSTEL.
Tagline: You'll come home in a body bag.

MACHETE:
After Robert Rodriguez entertained up with the great Planet Terror he decided to make this trailer that is a send up of action/revenge flicks. It stars Danny Trejo as MACHETE. A man who is betrayed by the government and decides to take the law into his own hands with help from his brother, who is also a priest, played by Cheech Marin. It looks hilarious/awesome. This movie promises everything from nudity to bad ass action and a thrill a minute. This is actually being made into a movie (Rodriguez has said it will only take 10 days to shoot and will be released to DVD).
Tagline: They Fucked With The Wrong Mexican.
Finally.....

WEREWOLF WOMEN OF THE S.S.
What do you get when you throw women, were-wolfs, mad scientists, Nazis and Nic Cage in his best role yet (I won't spoil this for you)? THIS FREAKIN' MOVIE! From the beginning to the end it is a laugh a minute. Featuring Udo Keir, Sheri Moon Zombie, Nic Cage and Bill Mosely this movie promises the goods. It is directed by Rob Zombie and damn I hope they make this movie. It looks hilarious.

Tagline: The True Story of Hitler's Experiments.

All of these get a 5/5. I say see this movie, it is unlike anything else I have seen and definately worth the 3 and a half hour viewing time and the 7 bucks. Screw that newest Will Ferral slop where he plays Ron Burgendy on ice. This is what cinema is all about and I dare a movie to try to top it this year. The only 2 other possibilties for beating this movie out this year for me, it looks like, is Spider-Man 3 and Transformers (and I doubt Transformers will).

GRINDHOUSE: Planet Terror

Ever since I have started watching horror films, I have wanted to see a double feature. When you do research on horror films (as well as other types), you hear about these mythical double features. Also, if you are a fan of horror, you probably love the movie From Dusk Til Dawn which was written by Quentin Taratino and Robert Rodriguez. 2 of the filmmakers that came out of, what I like to call, the "American New Wave." Last year I got the news that these two directors, who had been so influential in the 90's and now 2000's with Rodriguez's Sin City were doing a double feature called Grindhouse and not only would it be a double-feature, but a horror double feature with FAKE TRAILERS by Rodriguez (YAY!), Rob Zombie (YAY!), Edgar Wright (YAY!), and Eli Roth (Yea...). Well I saw it two weeks ago and can't stop thinking about it so here is my review.

PLANET TERROR:
Rodriguez had this idea when he was doing the under-whelming The Faculty. It is brought to life, and let me tell you, it is one hell of a ride. When a zombie epidemic sweeps a town, many different walks of life have to collide to save the world including a Go-Go Dancer, a member of some secret society, and a sheriff. There is not one moment of this film that is not incredible.

Rodriguez's directing is what makes this movie simply a heart pounding action ride. He begins with the movie with the dead sexy Rose McGowan, playing Cherry the Go-Go dancer, working her body on a stage. Hell, I would have been happy if that was the whole movie. Anyways, this man knows how to gross you out and make you go "AW SHIT!" With the missing reel that he took out from the film, which takes you to a point in the story where you have no idea what is going on. It is incredible. I can't say more good things about this movie.

But I will, because the acting is great for what they were trying to accomplish. Everybody is perfectly cheesy, but not too over the top. Rose McGowan and Freddy Rodriguez take control of this movie. McGowan plays a woman who is unhappy with her job as a go-go dancer and wants to be a stand-up comedian. She is extremely hot and really kick ass when she gets her machine gun leg. I mean, it is a FREAKIN' MACHINE GUN LEG! Frddy Rodriguez plays El Wray, who "never misses." He is a total bad ass, but only the 2nd most bad ass person in this double feature (the 1st is coming up later). He slices, he shoots, he does everything. I hope to see more from him in the future.

In all, this was my favorite out the two movies and I give it a 5 out of 5.